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We hope you’re finding this a great boost to your life – and thanks so much for all your messages of support. Please keep them coming.Perhaps, though, things aren’t quite as good as they can be all the time. There may be times when your sense of your body and of your sexual self isn’t quite what it could be. Some of the messages we’ve received have been about issues with levels of arousal, so we’d like to address that subject here.

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free clip taken from our DVD 'Sexplay'

SexPlay
DVD Duration: 56min
Does your love life need a makeover? Do you want maximum excitement between the sheets? Now it's time to make the change with this fantastic new guide to a better love life. The Lovers Guide - Sex Play has been specially devised by the World's best known sex experts to make you totally at ease with yourself, your partner and the most natural and important enjoyment there is...your love life! Available to download via our website.

Getting in touch with ourselvesGiven the pace of modern life, it may well be things aren’t always perfect. Do you ever feel not fully switched on, sexually speaking? Perhaps finding sometimes you don’t become fully aroused? Perhaps feeling a bit disconnected from your body? It can happen to us all from time to time, through stress, for example, or just because we’ve been neglecting the touchy-feely side of life for too long. If you feel you could do with getting back in touch with your body, it could be time to take a few hours with your partner, using non-sexual touch to explore and enhance your feelings, your physical sensations and, tied closely in with these, your emotions.Sensate-focusWith your partner, take it in turns to give and receive pleasure through touch. Use a little lotion or massage oil. Touch all over, front and back but avoid, for now, the obvious hot-spots, the genitals.When you are being touched, focus on the sensations your partner is giving you. How does it feel when different parts of your body are touched? Find words to describe these feelings – warm, soft, deep or tingly, for example. You’ll find your own words. Use this opportunity really to become aware of your physical responses and to focus on your body’s sensations. You might find there are parts of your body which respond very strongly, which perhaps haven’t been touched in a while, which have, perhaps, become ‘armoured’ against intimate touch, and which therefore need special attention, which you’ll find really rewarding.And when it’s your turn to touch your partner, really focus on the pleasure you are giving him or her, almost as if you can feel your partner’s pleasure through your hands. Ask how your partner experiences touch in different areas of his or her body. You might say: ‘How does that feel there?’Exercises such as this are often prescribed by therapists to people who feel they aren’t as sexually responsive as they might be – and also, as it happens, to people who are over-sensitive. We can all, though, benefit – especially at those times when loving touch and careful attention to put us back in touch with our partners and ourselves can do more for us than straight-out intercourse. We do want this to be YOUR Lovers’ Guide – so do let us have your suggestions for re-connecting with yourself and your partner to share with other lovers. Email: http://sg.f530.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=YourLG@loevrsguide.com More sensations

For more, fun ways of enjoying how it feels to touch and be touched by your partner, try these suggestions:

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Wash your partner’s hair. Massage, with your fingertips, a tea-tree oil conditioner into the scalp.
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Kiss and breathe each other’s air as you stroke each other’s face.
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Oil yourselves and slide against each other. Use your whole body to give and receive sensation.
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Kiss and massage your partner’s feet. Run your thumbs across the knuckles, in both directions at once, energizing and releasing tension.
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Have a blindfolded food-tasting session – with all your favourite treats.
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Listen together to a piece of music you both love – not watching TV – so you can close your eyes and be with each other sensually.
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Choose one night each week to explore different aromatherapy massage oils – or have a ‘his’ and a ‘her’ night.
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Find each other’s ticklish spots and arouse yourselves to the point they’re no longer ticklish but sensational.
Sensual touchYou’ll find plenty more ways to share really sensual, sexy touch with your partner on the Lovers’ Guide DVDs – click through here.And when you are in the mood for the most intimate kinds of touch, try our most recommended personal lubricant, ID Millennium, in the Lovers’ Guide shop. It’s simply better than the lubricants you’ll probably find in the local chemists. For this and our great range of Lovers’ Guide sex toys,

Oral Sex

I simply don’t know what to doIf you’ve really no idea where to start or how to go from there, admit this to yourself without fear or embarrassment and you’ll almost have found your solution. No-one is born knowing everything there is to know about sex – it would be a bit like being born speaking a language fluently or knowing how to drive a car. Your next step is to use the Lovers’ Guide, both the site and the DVD range, take mental notes and decide on the three or four things you can remember to do in the heat of the moment next time you’re offering oral sex. For him, for example, you might: keep your lips and tongue really wet; move your tongue gently around and across the clitoris in varying patterns; give it loads of time, with no sense of hurry. You could try big slurps – like licking an ice cream, or work around the clitoris, strumming it backwards and forwards or side to side. Softly sucking on the clitoris can be sensational for her, too. Try adding in some G-Spot stimulation by gently penetrating your partner’s vagina about two thirds up the front wall with a beckoning finger. Make sure you’re comfortable – you can either work from below, which can give breathing problems or try from the side which gives great access and no problem of having to ‘come up for air’.For her, you might: smile and show your enjoyment; use plenty of saliva; use your hands; lick up and down the shaft of his penis from time to time; work on the very sensitive frenulum – the bridge of skin at the back of the head – and around the coronal ridge around the head. Again, hand work helps – you can use one hand to keep a firm grip on his shaft and prevent him thrusting to deeply into your mouth. You can also stimulate between the base of his penis and his anus – called the perineum. Try those few suggestions, get confident with them and check your partner’s responses to see how you’re doing – then next time you can move on and try something more.My partner doesn’t experience orgasmIf he’s the one not experiencing orgasm through oral sex alone, you can basically accept that that’s the way it is: not all men do and, for many, oral sex is simply one delightful element of sex play. Keep going for as long as you wish – and use your hands more vigorously to heighten the chances of orgasm. You can switch fully to masturbating him or have intercourse at any time you feel that’s right for both of you.If she isn’t experiencing orgasm through oral sex, then further explorations are called for. Does she experience orgasm through intercourse or when she masturbates? Ask how she likes to be touched. Ask her to show you with her tongue on the palm of your hand. Is she really relaxed and comfortable when receiving oral sex? Are you taking your time or expecting there to be a ‘result’ in the first few minutes? While you explore, lose any sense that there might be a ‘problem’ which you are ‘addressing’ – just keep doing what feels pleasurable. One technique for keeping going is to ‘write’ the alphabet on her clitoris, slowly and in capital letters.Where’s mine?If your partner is reluctant to give you oral sex, you might well start by asking for more and saying how much you enjoy it. Perhaps your partner simply wasn’t fully aware of this – or there might be other issues which you can discuss. And fair’s fair, while each other’s sexual treats shouldn’t leave you feeling like you’re in accountancy mode and balancing the books, still you can expect to get your treats occasionally, given that you’re doing your bit.It’s the tasteWhile the usual response to this is ‘Oh please, get over it’, it is true that vaginas and penises both can become what you might call excessively flavoursome – after all, we usually keep them covered for most of the day while in a state of nature they’d have more room to breathe. Solution: have a shower. If that doesn’t solve it – or if it’s the taste of his semen or her juices that’s bothering you – then there might be dietary or, just possibly though very unlikely, medical issues. Garlic and asparagus aside, a high protein diet can produce an unpleasant taste, while eating plenty of fruit will tend to sweeten juices. Try suggesting to your partner that you’ve heard that fruit can have a really great effect on the way you both taste – and reinforce the message with vocally pleasurable slurps if this does work for you. (You’ll notice that here we’re avoiding saying: ‘You taste bad – here, eat this.’) If despite the change in diet, and proper hygiene either of you really doesn’t like the taste/smells of the other – which should be a big turn on – then you may question whether you should really be together.The touch is wrongIf your partner isn’t licking, sucking, nibbling and touching you in the ways you most like, don’t say he or she is doing it wrong; make it positive and ask for what you would really like – and when they do that, show your appreciation. Do this and you’ll probably find your partner’s touch improves no end pretty much immediately. Suffer in silence and you’ll most likely get nowhere.What’s the hurry?If your partner’s attitude to oral sex seems to be that it’s the boring foreplay bit you have to do before real sex, then really make a point of asking if you can spend a whole, long session not having intercourse but enjoying a whole range of sex play delights – Your best idea might well be to have the Lovers’ Guide Sex Play feature showing and play along.We hope these suggestions work for you. To get you really inspired right now, to view a preview clip from Sex Play Thanks for reading, and see you in a couple of weeks,